Monday, June 26, 2006

Not Understanding Appropriate Behavior.

A friend and I were goofing around and doing outrageous joking back and forth. He was into his usual 'Us girls...'. I just figured that is part of him and didn't push him to change his behavior. We were going to have coffee and share some desert.

I have been playfully asking everyone I know to buy me a new iMac. He came back with the request to wear a dress of mine. We finally hit the impasse of him not having enough money.

Since I know he used to be into prostitution, I swung into my role playing of being sexually excited, not over him, but over technology. I scared the life out of this poor fellow. He said he didn't like it and quickly vacated my room.

I am sad. I may have blown a friendship. Once again, I realize, that the insanity I was raised with must be more over the top then I can face.

I immediately sent off an apology email. The reply is stark and clear. I'm totally out of his life. If I try and contact him in any way, he'll call the police and file a report. I get it. It turns out that some of what I thought were just playful jesting, he took as a serious attack against his catholic faith. He has committed to the gay lifestyle and feels I've attacked him. Life goes on. It is times like this I am thankful I have learned how to pray. For sure, I'll never deal with him ever again. I for sure understand he means exactly what he says. After a few tears, life will go on. Times like this I feel hopelessly insane and desolate. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. I truly hope this man finds healing. He has a hard road to walk.

I guess I still don't know how to read when people are joking and when they are not. I am sorry I hurt this person. God will handle it from here, as I've been ordered out of his life.

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