Sunday, May 06, 2007

Recovery: It Ain't Always About ME!

When you are first sorting out your abuse and or neglect issues from your past, there is a time when EVERYTHING is about you. As you progress in recovery and as the intensity of the memories calms down, a fresh prospective can grow.

One of my chronic complaints (violins here) is over the issue of getting a ride to church. I know I'm growing up, because today when I was forgotten, I didn't go into a total emotional blow-out. I prayed to have victory over this issue. I truly know, that if I was in an emergency, someone at my church would attempt to move heaven and earth to help me. I suspect the husband of my ride-giver may be back in critical condition in an Emergency room somewhere. It's not always about ME!

Even if it comes down to just being "forgotten". I rarely need a ride to church, from these people. It would be easy to drop me from the radar, as this was a particularly busy week at church. I am secure enough in myself to know I would have been picked up, unless, something happened.

I am re-learning how important it is for me to put God first in my life. I heard several wonderful sermons on the radio, so I can't say I didn't get any teaching. I was at my work location to receive an important call from the cat owner. This may be the reason I was NOT picked up. I rest in the assurance that God has it all under control. I was ready to go. I now have a reason to thank God even more, for those times I DO make it to church. I praise God that I'm getting emotionally strong enough to not take every event around me as a personal attack.

Recovery is discovering the world really has people in it, who like you and try to do right. But, Jesus Christ walked on water, most people haven't gotten to that yet. I am free to forgive, love and return to church another day. I am free to have a good day in spite of a slight disappointment. I am free to enjoy the life God has given me for this day. Tomorrow isn't promised to us.

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