Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I've Discovered Football and failed femininity 101.

Long ago and far away, I longed to fit in. I'm a girl and I really tried to get into 'girlie' things. Oh, sigh! Alas, I like office supply stores, hardware stores, computers and tech. If I had full sight I'd go for being an interstate trucker. Most of my friends are men, and the female friends I do have, well, if they were men, they'd have massive amounts of courage.

I like Scott Sigler novels. Now, he is so rough that some men can't handle his gig. He combines rough language with grotesque science fiction and horror plots. I think there are three or four of us girls who regularly read his work. I'm on the fringe, as I can and do eat breakfast while listening to his novels. In short, I have an inferiority complex about being a girl. Now that I've discovered football its official. I flunked out of femininity 101.

For the longest time I tried to understand this strange world of football. Watching it on TV, for me, was like trying to track individual ants in an ant farm. Things move far too fast for me to visually make sense of what I'm seeing. Well, Scott's latest novel is all about football from the point of view of a Quarter Back. So, I really had a motivation to learn about the game. I started listening to it on the radio and, holy moley, it started to make some sense! Like all true football fans I soon began to yell at the radio, to coax the team, or the ref. to do, or stop doing something. It is glorious.

While cleaning a house I used to listen to talk radio. But of late the entire world has gotten so crazy, I just get upset. I mean really upset. Sports gives me an adrenaline rush without feeling like my country is going to hell in a hand basket. As I continue to listen I begin to remember which player plays on a particular team. I am immediately adopted into entire new types of conversation and banter. One of my few girl friends, is also into football and we're already planning a Monday night football evening. Her TV, I'll bring the food.

Oh, how I wish I could just be 'struck' feminine! To wake up one day and like wearing floppy pink bows! To be able to read People magazine and like it. To be demur and unassuming in some situation. To be able to act stupid and make it look sexy. Oh, I fear it is not to be. My idea of a romantic line is Mic Jaggar's song: "Hold On To Me Tonight". After he speaks of love being fragile and all of that , he gets real: "...all my cards are on the table. You can get up and walk away - or stay." Now THAT I understand!

CyberGal is at home with Skype on a four-way conference call with three male friends. Our banter is rough and tumble. I am accepted as one of the group. We needle one another unmercifully. But let one of us not be on line for more then a few days and the others start hunting our missing buddy down. Two tech / engineering types and a medical equipment technician, who has seen it all and lived to tell the tale!

But alas, I am what I am.

"Oh, NOOO! You're not supposed to drop it!" (speaking to a radio I have running in the background). Go Raiders!

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