Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bad Fast Food and Wonderful Memories.

Last night, while sharing some so-bad-it-was-good, fast food with a friend, memories of riding down to LA from the Bay Area came flooding back to me. I was in Dr. Scott's church with several other local fanatics, who routinely trekked down to LA, so Doc would have a 'full house' for church. It was completely insane, but I didn't realize it at the time.

Since we basically gave all our money to the church, we were all hopelessly broke. To save one night at a hotel, we'd leave from Northern California around midnight, arriving in Glendale, somewhere between 6 AM and 8 AM. (Some drivers were braver than others about jumping the 55 MPH speed limit). Since we'd all worked a full day, we needed oceans of coffee, lots of food and sweets, just to stay awake. Something about driving like maniacs all night makes people hungry. The smokers in the car howled for 'smoke' breaks and so the ritual would begin.

Somewhere after Fresno, we'd hit our first 'Food - and We've Got Gas' stop. No joke, that is the sign for the road warriors they cater to. Contemplate your worst 7-11 fast food with the nastiest coffee imaginable. The stuff was such a shock to our bodies, we could all stay awake. Really bad, on-the-road fare.

When Robert had the money and time, he'd whip up his famous egg salad sandwiches. So, we're all drinking coffee and munching on very well made egg salad sandwiches. It is 4 AM and for those of you who don't know, eggs can give one gas. No one wants to be the first offender in a closed car when it is about 35 degrees outside. We'd all get silent, and then a replay of the campfire scene in "Blazing Saddles" would commence. We were all friends, people attempt to ignore the obvious. Eventually we make a stop, to air out the car. We're all silently standing around, freezing our butts off, just looking at one another!

Robert got an old, but cherry'd out Cadillac. He fell hopelessly in love. He named her, washed, waxed, shined, buffed and fussed over her. We all got really sick of it very fast. Remember, I don't drive, as I'm legally blind. I was riding with Robert and David. For once, we were traveling in the late afternoon.

Robert had to make a driver's pit stop. David told me that Robert could look out a window from the men's room and see his (ugh) baby. David had experienced enough. He waited until he saw Robert looking out the window, grabbed the keys and ordered me out of and then back into the car on the drivers side All the while showing me the 'classic' driver moves, to make it appear as though I was slipping her out of park and getting ready to go. Robert freaked-out completely.

I heard him yelling before I saw his lurching and running figure approaching the car, from across the parking lot. He'd been hitching up his jeans, before he thought I was going to 'drive' his car. He started out holding his still unzipped jeans with one hand, while frantically waving with the other hand.

"No! No! CyberGal! Don't drive my CAR!" He forgot about holding his pants up, frantically flailing the air with both hands, as his jeans slid away to reveal his BVD'S! Even I could see what was happening, as I suddenly noticed a moving flash of white. David and I were is hysterics, while Robert was finally getting around to securing his jeans. Robert was NOT amused. But David and I laughed and retold that story for miles!

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